The Horror Snob

'Buffy' reboot should not happen.

By SHERRI LONON
5-26-2009

I’ve been waiting on the right issue to introduce what will become a more-or-less regular column here at Rabid Doll. News that the husband-and-wife team of Fran Rubel Kuzui and Kaz Kuzui are considering a “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” reboot seems like the perfect place to start “The Horror Snob.”

So, what do I think of a reboot at the hands of the Kuzuis, who legitimately own the rights to the Buffyverse?

As Tim Minear so eloquently put it: “Unthinkable.”

In all honesty, I’m not a fan of reboots period. With only a few exceptions, such as Rob Zombie’s “Halloween” and Alexandre Aja’s “The Hills Have Eyes," I have been terribly disappointed in the horror remakes. These awful flicks are hitting theaters and movie stores in an ever-increasing conga line that just has me begging the movie gods to make them stop! Many of these reboots are just sorry excuses to try and rip off money from the viewing public by riding on the coattails of previously successful franchises.

Enter the Kuzuis and their idea.

These people, the ones responsible for the train wreck 1992 movie “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” have decided they want to recapture the “magic” with a possible new franchise to “reinvent” the Buffyverse. They don’t seem to care one way or another if creator Joss Whedon is involved. I can’t even begin to say how much of a mistake that is.

They have, in all fairness, been talking with some impressive people about the movie idea. Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are onboard and discussing throwing out all the Buffy of the past – including the movie and the series. Lee, by the way, served as producer for “The Ring” and “The Grudge.” There’s also discussion of possible involvement by J.J. Abrams.

While the names the Kuzuis are tossing about are fantastic, it is impossible for me as a fan to consider a new Buffyverse movie without Whedon – especially if the Kuzuis are involved. They simply would not know a good script if it hit them in the heads. (Like Whedon’s original “Buffy” script did.)

It’s important to keep in mind these are the people who had Whedon’s original script entirely rewritten. They seem to think the 1992 movie was actually good. It was so not. This piece of bubblegum drivel was actually given away for free along with the purchase of a full season of “Buffy” television episodes on DVD. The guy at the video store said they couldn’t get anyone to buy them, so they were just giving them out as a “bonus.” He offered me a trash can.

Think about it: It took Whedon’s 1997 launch of the television version to prove there was something to the Buffyverse. He proved his point so well, in fact, the show survived seven seasons and a network change. It also produced a successful spinoff in “Angel.”

Fran and Kaz may own the rights to the Buffyverse, but it’s Joss Whedon who created it and made it something. Without his involvement and total control over direction, I predict a crash-and-burn reboot – especially if the Kuzuis try and rekindle the “magic” from the craptastically bad Kristy Swanson flick.

Redoing “Buffy” without Whedon; Minear’s got it right: Unthinkable!

About the Author: Rabid Doll news editor Sherri Lonon is a veteran journalist writing out of Tampa, Fla. She's had a passion for horror, fantasy and science-fiction since she could crawl. While she swoons for a well-written, directed and acted story no matter the genre, her personal favorites are vampire stories with real bite.